Monday, September 29, 2008

How Embarassing... and Yes, it's Long!

So today... actually, let's start over. Ever since I can remember I would deem myself notorious for about 3-4 emotional breakdowns in a year. I can distinctly remember, back in high school, sitting down with the family to eat dinner. Everyone started talking about their days. I could not even begin to respond to my mom without breaking out into a ridiculous sob. After realizing nothing was wrong with me, I was asked to go upstairs until I could calm down. Yes, pathetically enough, my mom was aware and totally over my emotional break downs. She knew I would talk when I was ready. Long story of life short, I still maintain that it is my perogative to cry whenever I feel necessary. Today was one of my 3-4 days of this year. Embarassingly enough, it was while I was at work this morning. I could feel it coming on over the past few days. Still the last straw didn't break until 10 am in front of my employees, with my boss just feet away in my office. Not to worry, I didn't let them see me cry, but I'm fairly sure they had a good hunch. I managed to make it out the building and into an alcove before the tears started to roll down my cheeks. I got my composure, took a few more deep breaths, and then went back in. My boss, who is only based out of my store and travels most days, had no idea. She had started off on some tirade this morning about how she had so much to do after being gone a week. Yada yada yada. One cranky comment led to the next. I think I actually ended up crying over the fact that... here it comes... the breaking reason is always SO stupid. Someone was supposed to come and set up a second desk for her in my office. They didn't show up this week, and so she was upset. My assistant and I decided to try to put it together for her (She, my boss, had stepped out to answer a call on her cell). When she came back in the office she was the utter opposite of appreciative. She was blatantly upset that we had made a mess of her needed space. Even though we were under the impression that she wanted the desk put together. Needless to say, we moved her desk out of the office, and she proceeded to work at mine. I bit my lip and fought back tears as I moved my stuff out of her way. I know, stupid, stupid. My assistant could tell I was upset. She offered me a hug, and I thanked her as I passed without obliging. Letting her know that I was stepping out. How ridiculous am I? I can't believe that's what did me in. I thought I was being dumb, but it was gratifying when my boss apologized for being ridiculous. At least she knew it wasn't nice behavior. The sad thing is, on any other non-break down day the whole desk thing would only have deserved a weird look and a rhetoric "oookaaay!" And there is my embrassing story for the day. If you got to the end... thanks for reading =)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Holy Babies...

So I have cousins that I'm really close to. Two, in particular, have always been two of my best friends. I found out last night, that Laura will be having her 2nd. I laughed and then turned to Nate. I told him we are getting way behind. Heidi is having her third soon, and now Laura will be one up on me, too. Not to mention, that I'm older than both of them. Don't worry, I'm not about to make any announcements of my own, but I just think it's funny. The crazy thing is how fast time goes by. We always said 4-6 kids, 2-4 years apart. Well, we're well past the 2 year apart mark. Then I stop and think numbers. Having kids can take some serious years. Lets say I want 4 more kids 3 years apart, average. That's 12 years until I have my last kid. Then say, we're lucky, and everyone is actually out of the house by the time they turn 18. Now we're talking 30 years until my last kid is out of the house. Now I'm 56 when my last kid leaves the house. The older I get, the younger 56 sounds, but really... And that's only if I have 5 kids total, on the lovely schedu;e of 3 years apart. That's crazy. A very well worth it crazy, but sheesh! By the way, CONGRATULATIONS, LAURA, RYAN, and TYLER!